Why is it bad to say “you always” to a child?

Because you’re no longer addressing the behavior but attacking the child for being who he or she is. The words “you always” turn what is supposed to be a parent’s response to a single event or action into a litany of everything the child isn’t and should be.

Do parents really know what is best for their children?

There are parents who believe that they know what is best for their children. They plan their children’s life from birth to marriage to career and beyond. They believe that they are making their kids’ lives easier and less stressful.

Why do some parents call their teenagers lazy?

In some parents, the term “lazy” can activate the age-old prejudice against inactivity, idleness, and the sin of Sloth. And if these adults have a religious-like work ethic, they can be horrified to see their teenager showing signs of falling away. The problem here is that it’s not just the aggrieved parent who is making this comparison.

How should parents deal with children who don’t have the same characteristics?

Parents should strive to take their own egos out of the equation and instead focus on what the child needs. Just because a child does not have the same characteristics as their parents does not mean they are a failure that needs correcting. A good strategy is to encourage children to develop their own personality and voice.

Why are self-involved parents bad for their children?

It’s for sissies”) if they don’t fall within the parent’s list of “acceptable” or “valuable” activities. All of this weakens a child’s sense of self and isolates him. Similarly, a self-involved parent who sees her child only as an extension of herself doesn’t, by definition, recognize the child’s boundaries.

Does talking to your child make them tougher?

If you have it in your head that talking to your child this way will make your kid “tougher” or make him or her “ wise up,” you could not possibly be more wrong. I have heard many unloved daughters say that they wished a parent had hit or physically beaten them “because then the scars would show.” Don’t kid yourself: Words are weapons.

Why does my child always think she has done something wrong?

A young child doesn’t have the self-confidence to counter this assertion and will assume that she’s done something wrong. She will often believe that her sensitivity is the problem and that, in turn, leads her to mistrust both her feelings and perceptions.