Q&A

What does going GREY rock mean?

What does going GREY rock mean?

The grey rock method involves communicating in an uninteresting way when interacting with abusive or manipulative people. The name “grey rock” refers to how those using this approach become unresponsive, similar to a rock. The technique may involve: keeping unavoidable interactions brief.

What is GREY stoning a narcissist?

The logic underlying the grey rock method is that manipulative and narcissistic individuals feed on response, emotion, and drama. When a person goes grey rock, he or she will refrain from showing any emotional response, thereby denying the abusive person a clear path to escalate the situation.

What is detached contact?

“Detached contact centers on our ability to be physically present, but not emotionally wounded by the actions of a family member,” Thomas explains.

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Would you ever turn into a grey rock?

So, if you wanted to escape notice, becoming a grey rock might seem like a good way to go about it. Of course, people can’t actually turn into rocks, but that’s where the idea of grey rocking comes from.

Is the grey rock technique ruining your relationships?

In already thorny relationships, going grey rock may make it still more difficult to process feelings, responses, and events. Indeed, individuals who use the grey rock technique may focus on a task at hand, stare at a point in the distance, or mentally envision themselves in an entirely different place or time.

Does grey rock work for co-parenting?

Maybe your parent or co-worker has narcissistic traits, or you co-parent with a manipulative ex. Communicating electronically or by phone may work well here, since doing so allows you to avoid prolonged interactions that might cause stress and make it harder to maintain a grey rock facade. But grey rocking can work for any type of communication.

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Should I tell my abusers I’m Going Grey Rock?

In general, it is not recommended that individuals tell their abusers they are “going grey rock.” Doing so may inadvertently provoke pointed abuse. There’s also a psychological risk inherent in grey rocking.