Why do parents fail to love their children?

If the parents were hurt in their developmental years, they will have problems accepting love and intimacy from their children. Faced with the emotional pain that it causes them, parents will unconsciously distance themselves from their child. 4. Parents have unresolved trauma in their own lives.

What does living your life through your children mean?

Some signs that you might be living vicariously through your child include: Becoming obsessively involved in your child’s activities, at the expense of your own well-being or hobbies. This behavior is sometimes called helicopter parenting. Making decisions about your child’s life because of your own disappointments.

Why do some parents live through their children?

A new, first-of-its-kind study in PLOS ONE today discusses sports dads, stage moms, and confirms a popular psychological theory — parents live vicariously through the achievements of their children and in fact desire their children to fulfill their own unrealized ambitions.

Do parents experience things vicariously through their children’s lives?

The parents have hidden desires and impulses, but acting on them was not allowed by their own families of origin. Most people are familiar with the idea that parents experience things vicariously through the lives of their children – and not just “stage mothers” and the like.

Do parents try to live out their dreams through their children?

The idea that parents try to live out their dreams through their children goes back at least as far as Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, both of whom theorized about the phenomenon. But no one had ever tested the idea, Brummelman said. He and his colleagues decided to see if the theory stood up to reality.

What happens when a parent has unresolved trauma?

4. Parents have unresolved trauma in their own lives. If so, they will tend to be misattuned to their children, especially when their children approach periods in their lives that were traumatic for the parent. They may react by becoming rejecting, or they may overcompensate.

What happens when a child is touched by a hungry parent?

Children who are caressed by a hungry and needy parent will not feel “seen,” understood, or secure, but instead will become refractory to physical touch. The “loving” fingers of the immature parent are felt as possessive, sucking tentacles, which drain the children rather than nurture them.